Feeling the Presence
There were two times I recall asking to be filled with the Presence. The first was once when I was standing at the alter after entering the meditation hall where the men met. I invoked the Presence and immediately felt a calm come over me. It was as if I never had to move from that spot. I was completely in the present moment, no need to go and sit down or make any move whatsoever. No sound was being heard my me. I have no idea how long I was there and now recall only how wonderful it felt to just be. A short time later on a break I was walking outside barfoot waiting for lunch. I stopped outside and just felt the sand upon my feet, my eyes closed. I just stood there feeling with no thought of moveing or doing anything except feeling the moment. It felt as if I was all things and there was nothing I needed to do and no where I needed to go. There were other times when I invoked the Presence but I would say these were the most powerful. I left knowing that whatever this Presence may be called, it was within me and I could be in contact with it.
It was so important that we were in silence during the whole 21 days and was very thankful that was honered by most people. It caused me to reflect on my experiences, gave me time to write about them and process them more deeply.
Various Insights
I was ruminating at one point about being influenced by my parents, peers, life experiences, astrology, teachers, mentors and the collective consciousness. I began thinking about God and how it actually is God's power that keeps me alive and ticking. Then I thought that is also true about the food and everthing in the universe. So that in one sense God is all the parts of me and all that I think and do and there is no thought or experience I could have that is outside of God. This insight made me realize that there also was no thing outside of me that was not alive by God's power or force. As I usually do I was about to blesss my food by saying “Bless this food to me and me to Thy service. So I thought , in one sense God was sitting and blessing God since there really is nothing but God. It no longer made sense to me to think of God as out there somewhere blessing food to me since God is the food and also me. It was an awesome thought and changed how I pray. This is not to say that "I" am God but God is certainly "me".
